Sat, 03 Aug 2002

…while I was there I saw this fantastic rapping priest from the States, Father Stan – he was amazing…

Carolyn Bomok

A scene from World Youth Day celebrations, 2002
As imagined by Michael A. Charles

Apologies beforehand to Carolyn, Father Stan, Pope John Paul II, and God.

SCENE: Downsview Park, Toronto. An outdoor stage. The curtain rises on MC Rappin’ Father Stan and his posse.

MC RAPPIN’ FATHER STAN:
Well, I’m Rappin’ Father Stan from the USA
Sometimes I like to get a little funky when I pray
All them sucka MCs gonna be in deep-freeze
When they see me with the rosary down on my knees

Givin’ props to my man, J.P. the Pope
He a smooth mack daddy and his word is dope
Well he got the call, took the name John Paul
Now he spends his days spreadin’ the good word to y’all

Word up!

DJ CARDINAL FUNKY G:
Word!

MC RAPPIN’ FATHER STAN:
Well he drive a phat car called the Popemobile
And that sucka flies faster than Ezekiel’s wheel
Got the bullet-proof platin’, gonna take down Satan
Can’t stop him when he starts transubstantiatin’

Now he sleeps by hisself, he don’t need no ho’s
In a room decked out with Michelangelos
He an evil fighter, he a real low rider
He an old-school gangsta and he wears a miter

DJ CARDINAL FUNKY G:
Give it up for the Sisters of Immaculate Virtue Fly Girls!

The Fly Girls dance.

CROWD:
Yo! Yo! Here we go!
Yo! Yo! Here we go!

MC RAPPIN’ FATHER STAN:
Well, he’s waitin’ offstage, but any minute he
Is gonna hit you with the whole Holy Trinity
He a bad-ass mutha from the Polish nation
Quotin’ chapter and verse outta Revelation

He got Matthew and John and Luke and Mark
And he brought ’em all together here at Downsview Park
He got a homily straight outta 1 Thessalonians
To keep it real with all you funky Torontonians

Father Stan receives a discreet signal from offstage.

MC RAPPIN’ FATHER STAN:
Yo yo yo, give it up Toronto, for my main man, John Paul hisself!

The Pope is pushed onstage in a wheelchair. He weakly raises his hands above his head.

POPE JOHN PAUL II: (mumbling)
Raise your hands in the air!
Wave them around like you (unintelligible)!

The crowd goes wild.

Advertisements

0 Responses to “Yo! Bum rush the Pope!”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s