Mon, 29 Jul 2002

Last night I dreamt that I was Jesus Christ. I was waiting in line to see the Pope. All the other people waiting knew who I was, and they admired that I was humbly standing in line, when I could have just cut in front of everybody. At the same time, there was a certain amount of consternation that I wasn’t performing any miracles – I was just standing there. But I wasn’t altogether convinced of my own divinity, so I didn’t want to try any miracles and fail, and make a fool of myself.

Finally, as we passed under the arch that led into the Pope’s chambers, I felt obliged to attempt some kind of miracle. So I tried to pull my legs up into the lotus position and levitate. Of course, I just fell over. At this point, the Pope himself came out to see me. He was a youngish Pope, and stern. He told me to sit cross-legged on the floor and attempt to levitate again. I did as he told me, and I floated up to about three feet above the ground. I was levitating, but I couldn’t move through space – all I could do was bob there in mid-air, leaning slightly to one side or another. The Pope was disappointed in me.

Lest anyone think that my dream is symptomatic of some kind of megalomania, I should mention that later last night, I dreamt that I was a giant rhododendron, tended by a groundskeeper who fertilised me with his own excrement.


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Michael A. Charles is a writer, animator, and musician currently living in the Vancouver area.

Michael is the singer and guitarist for the band known as Sea Water Bliss and the creator of Garson Hampfield, Crossword Inker.

You can find many of Michael's videos on the Gallery page.

Garson Hampfield, Crossword Inker