Peter Watts is a jerk.

He’s a crank too. But I’ll get to that.

First let me tell you about his brilliant novel Blindsight.

I first heard of it two days ago in this article in io9’s Mad Science blog, Six scientists tell us about the most accurate science fiction in their fields. Terry Johnson, a bioengineer at UC Berkeley, volunteered the following:

I thought that Peter Watts’ Blindsight did a great job of reinventing vampires as an extinct subspecies of humanity. Humanity pieces together what the vampire genome must have been and then resurrects them using genetic engineering.

As Johnson’s endorsement would suggest, Watts has obviously put a lot of thought into his scientific account of vampirism. In the novel’s detailed Notes and References it’s explained that vampires acquired their “Crucifix Glitch” as a result of

a cross-wiring of normally-distinct receptor arrays in the visual cortex, resulting in grand mal-like feedback seizures whenever the arrays processing vertical and horizontal stimuli fired simultaneously across a sufficiently large arc of the visual field. Since intersecting right angles are virtually nonexistent in nature, natural selection did not weed out the Glitch until H. sapiens sapiens developed Euclidean architecture; by then, the trait had become fixed across H. sapiens vampiris via genetic drift, and – suddenly denied access to its prey – the entire subspecies went extinct shortly after the dawn of recorded history.

The novel’s main vampire character counteracts the effects of the Crucifix Glitch by injecting himself with “anti-Euclideans”, drugs that alter his brain chemistry so that he can glance at the rungs of a ladder without foaming at the mouth.

The funny thing is, it turns out Blindsight isn’t about resurrected vampires as much as it is about brain chemistry. Particularly, it’s about the nature of consciousness. What does it mean to be self-aware? Does self-awareness necessarily correlate with intelligence? Is it even an adaptive advantage, when so many species get along just fine without it? The vampires play a crucial but only a small role in Watts’ exploration of these questions.

All that, and aliens too! Blindsight is a top-drawer example of the subgenre ably taxonomized by an Amazon reviewer named Conrad J. Obregon:

There is a sub-genre of science fiction that I like to think of as the alien-encounter procedural. Among its most famous of members is Arthur C. Clarke’s Rendezvous with Rama. Humans meet a new species of alien and must figure out what procedures to follow to make some kind of contact. Emphasis is on the technology of contact, with suspense created by the unknown nature of the aliens.

But forget about the literary antecedents. Forget about the science. The main thing is, Blindsight is a hell of a lot of fun. I scanned the opening pages after supper on Thursday, with the intention of maybe putting it next on my reading pile. Suddenly it was midnight, and I had to force myself to stop reading so I wouldn’t be a zombie at work the next day. I sped through the remaining hundred pages in a few hours on Friday night, stopping only once to use the bathroom.

Go read it. Thank me later.


Blindsight (and other novels and stories) are available on Peter Watts’ website for free download under a Creative Commons license.


I’m glad I read Blindsight before I read Peter Watts’ blog. Because based on his blog, I’ve concluded that he’s kind of a jerk. If I’d known that in advance, I might not have read the novel.

Watts was in the news recently. Last December he had a scuffle with US border guards during an “exit search” while trying to cross back into his (and my) native Canada at Port Huron, Michigan. From his blog:

If you buy into the Many Worlds Interpretation of quantum physics, there must be a parallel universe in which I crossed the US/Canada border without incident last Tuesday. In some other dimension, I was not waved over by a cluster of border guards who swarmed my car like army ants for no apparent reason; or perhaps they did, and I simply kept my eyes downcast and refrained from asking questions.

Along some other timeline, I did not get out of the car to ask what was going on. I did not repeat that question when refused an answer and told to get back into the vehicle. In that other timeline I was not punched in the face, pepper-sprayed, shit-kicked, handcuffed, thrown wet and half-naked into a holding cell for three fucking hours, thrown into an even colder jail cell overnight, arraigned, and charged with assaulting a federal officer, all without access to legal representation (although they did try to get me to waive my Miranda rights. Twice.).

(I have no reason to disbelieve the above account of the incident. Although one of the border guards alleged that Watts choked him, that claim was apparently discredited in the trial. Here are more details of Watts’ arrest and eventual conviction; in the end he was fined a couple thousand dollars and banned from entering the States.)

I’ve driven across the Canada-US border a bunch of times since 2001. (Including, I think, at least once at Port Huron.) I’ve crossed into the US from Mexico twice. On several occasions I was stopped while driving alone on south Texas secondary highways by border agents who pawed through my luggage for traces of heroin or Mexicans. Through all these interactions, American authorities were unerringly friendly, even when obliged to shunt my vehicle to a side lane for more detailed disarraying of my underwear.

So when I read about Peter Watts’ experience, I wondered, Have I just been lucky? Or was Watts especially unlucky?

Then I read this anecdote from a recent appearance at a sci-fi convention in Toronto:

At some point I – as is my wont – used the word “fucking” as an adjective.

Exhibit A sat in the front row, two sprogs in tow (one 5-10, one possible preteen – my expertise in the age-determination of human larvae is not all it could be). She took strong exception: “Could we keep this PG? There are children in the audience, and if I hear that again I’m out of here.”

I explained that the word “fuck” has a 900-year history, throughout most of which it was considered completely inoffensive. “It only became offensive 100-200 years ago, when a bunch of bible-thumping prudes who couldn’t get laid decided to stigmatize anything with an orifice.” Sadly, this cut no ice: “Well, I find it offensive.”

Watts soon let fly another PG-13 adjective, and the woman gathered her sprogs and huffed out. This led to an encounter between the author and four convention organizers who reprimanded him for, basically, being a jerk.

All because Peter Watts just had to say the word “shit-kicking”. Now, how would a non-jerk have responded to this situation? Being one, I can tell you: with an inward eye roll, a deferential head nod (calibrated to convey a shade of irony without being overtly offensive), and a mental note to sprinkle some sugar on the salty language.

I don’t think this is a symptom of undue servility. It’s just a sense of proportion. No-one should be forced to kowtow for the mere maintenance of social harmony. But in the absence of overt coercion, when the stakes are so comically small – we make a slight bow.

Watts doesn’t bow. When someone waves a sceptre in his direction, he hops up, grabs the sceptre, and, well…jerks. That’s when coercive methods are applied. Authorities are summoned. Things spiral.

It’s worth mentioning that Watts is a bit of a crank, too. (This is another way of saying he lacks a sense of proportion.) He’s the kind of crank who writes about how we live in a “soft dictatorship“. Who posts a picture of Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper with rifle crosshairs superimposed over his forehead. Who composes measured passages like,

British Petroleum – a criminal corporation with countless infractions and convictions already notched onto its bedpost – is already a serial murderer. It kills entire ecosystems as we speak, ruins countless lives. If any of us little people tried to repay even a fraction of that in kind the whole weight of governments and armies would try to squash us flat. I know first-hand the righteous outrage that inflames such cocksuckers when anyone tries to do to them the merest fraction of what they do to us on a daily basis. We all know the overwhelming force that would be brought to bear on the “anarchists” and “criminals” who dared to “take the law into their own hands”.

(In a comment below his original post, he clarifies that he’s “not advocating anything”.)

None of the foregoing is necessarily relevant. His arrest in Port Huron predates all the above comments; perhaps the incident radicalized him. Anyway, I know people who say even more intemperate things, yet are nevertheless meek and mild when approached by folks in uniform.

But if you’re the kind of guy who believes things like the above, and you’re a jerk to boot, is it a surprise when you get into a tussle with authorities?

I’m not minimizing the injustice of what Watts went through. No-one should be punched in the face, or pepper-sprayed, or prosecuted, let alone threatened with two years in jail in a foreign country, just for being a jerk.

I’m just saying I can picture how it happened. Border guards surround Watts’ vehicle. Instead of quietly rolling his eyes, the author – a big guy, not a weedy Carl Sagan type – jumps out to protest. A guard politely but firmly orders him back into the car. Watts mutters something ill-advised. The guard barks an order. Events spiral. Pepper is dispersed.

Now, we need border guards. (Not as much as they think we need them, but still.) They protect us from people far more dangerous than Peter Watts. But there aren’t many such dangerous people around, so the border guards have a lot of time on their hands. They use this time to peer up our tailpipes, to poke suspicious fingers into our shaving kits, and occasionally to pull over some random Canadian because something about his posture or haircut looks suspicious.

It would be better if border guards were astute enough to display a sense of proportion when dealing with jerks like Peter Watts. But they’re not always that astute.

Some of them, in fact, are real jerks.


Update, April 1 2013: I’ve had a few critical comments on this post, like the guy who today accused me of “attacking” Watts over the 2009 border incident. I was going to defend myself, but on reflection, maybe those commenters have a fair point.

As I’ve now said repeatedly, I believe Watts’s description of what happened that day. Of course I wasn’t there. But the prosecutors’ scenario, where a middle-aged science-fiction writer physically assaults a group of border guards, strikes me as less plausible than Watts’s version, where he was merely slow to obey the guards’ instructions and they monstrously overreacted.

My argument was only that people with cranky and combative personalities (like Watts, as he has frequently exhibited on his blog) are more likely to get into scrapes like these. Conflict-averse weenies like me, when confronted with seemingly capricious displays of authority, rather than assume we are being unjustly handled, will pause to consider the possibility that there are factors at play which we don’t understand. On the few occasions when I have indignantly trumpeted my sense of victimization, I’ve always come to realize on reflection that I was getting worked up over nothing. I have no idea why US Customs would suddenly start conducting “exit searches”, like the one Watts was subjected to while trying to leave the USA. It strikes me as pretty absurd. But if I were pulled aside for such a search, I would sit in the car meditating on the absurdity, rather than leaping out to yap at the guards about it. Which is probably why I’ve never been punched by a border guard.

There’s something to be said for an attitude of quiet deference. It makes for a polite and law-abiding society, such as we have customarily enjoyed here in Canada. But there’s also something to be said for getting up in the faces of authority figures when they start bossing us around. If we sanction cops bashing the skulls of those who ask tough questions – even those who ask quite rudely – we will soon find ourselves living in a society where even polite questions are forbidden. A certain amount of jerkiness is necessary to keep us from subsiding into authoritarianism. So, although I frequently deplore his opinions, I’m grateful to Watts for being a jerk on my behalf.

The role of the jerk-by-proxy is to get worked up over things the rest of us let slide. Nine times out of ten he makes himself look like an ass, and the rest of us steer wide and avoid eye contact while he stands on a street corner haranguing a weary cop over some wholly imaginary outrage. Occasionally, inevitably, our jerk-by-proxy pushes a cop or a judge too far, gets clapped in handcuffs, poked in the eye with a baton, hauled off to court. That means the jerk is doing his job. That’s not the time to cavil about what an uncouth fellow he is. That’s when you leap to the ramparts on his behalf.

I felt like by praising Watts’s book, while doing nothing to conceal my annoyance with the opinions expressed on his blog, I was doing him justice. But the events called for a bit more indulgence. I cavilled when I should have leapt. So I suppose I deserve some abuse from Watts’s defenders. As penance I’ve chipped in $20 to the tip jar on Watts’s website.


19 Responses to “Peter Watts is a jerk.”

  1. 1 Hljothlegur October 8, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Hahahaha… having a neck that won’t bend isn’t a bug, man, it’s a *feature*!

    I, too, read Blindsight first, but I got positively hooked on the rifters website, and had a similar reaction to yours – i.e., who is this jerk? I started reading before the tussle with the Mighty Pepperspray, and I noticed even back then Dr. Watts was not shy about stating his opinions assertively. And a definite angry leftist.

    If the dichotomy between Watts the author and Watts the blogger is too disturbing, try this take it on it: Rant Theater. He’s bellowing at the universe so you don’t have to. 🙂

    Also, he is a narrow-band human RSS feed in certain disciplines – consciousness, neurology, space science, marine biology and sci fi tv. Then he posts what he finds with comments, which is great.

    Some of his short stories are on his website, and if you like his writing, they’re free and some are quite good.

    I have to also recommend this:

    It’s his “The Things,” a fanfic homage to Carpenter’s The Thing, but POV of the monster. If you like John Gardner’s Grendel,, you will love this.

    Be well.

  2. 2 Peter Aitchison December 22, 2010 at 6:33 am

    I read Peter Watts’ book Starfish and really enjoyed it. Highly recommended.

  3. 3 d brown August 21, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    by now do you know nothing you said was backed up at the trial, right.

  4. 4 Michael A. Charles August 22, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Not sure what you mean, d brown. I’ve already linked to Watts’ account of his trial. Here it is again:

    As I said, I see no reason to doubt his version of events. If there’s another, more disinterested authority to whom you could refer us, please supply the link.

    I think Watts is a jerk because of the jerky behaviour and opinions he’s shared on his own blog. Being a jerk isn’t and shouldn’t be a crime. Nor is it inconsistent with being a talented author.


  5. 5 Michael Rose November 12, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    He wasn’t quick enough to follow proper procedures during a random baseless search conducted by self important incompetent thugs from the same demographic as the mcidiots who regularly screw up simple fast food orders. Consequently they beat him kidnapped him attempted to have him imprisoned for long time as an object lesson to those evil Canadians based on lies they fabricated to cover their own criminal malfeasance and demanded his hard earned money as ransom for his freedom.

    I understand why our so called patriots continue to support the home team, drug use is pretty widespread here. What I don’t understand is why you would.

  6. 6 MPRD January 15, 2013 at 7:15 am

    The border incident was the result of Americans going full retard. Unfortunately this happens all the time usually with tragic consequences. See for example, the Iraq war.

  7. 7 WarmBeer March 31, 2013 at 9:34 am

    Amazing, you attack this guy for enduring a bad experience.

  8. 8 Michael A. Charles April 1, 2013 at 5:12 am

    WarmBeer, I was going to accuse you of misunderstanding my post. But you kind of have a point. I don’t think I ever attacked Peter Watts because of the bad experience he endured. But I did kind of kick him when he was down, which was probably in poor taste. I’ve updated my post to reflect my second thoughts


  9. 9 Hank Roberts February 11, 2014 at 7:22 am

    Quoting Peter Watts:

    “Science doesn’t work despite scientists being asses. Science works, to at least some extent, because scientists are asses. Bickering and backstabbing are essential elements of the process. Haven’t any of these guys ever heard of “peer review”? . . .
    The fact is, we are all humans; and humans come with dogma as standard equipment. . . The best we can do— the best science can do— is make sure that at least, we get to choose among competing biases.
    That’s how science works. It’s not a hippie love-in; it’s rugby. Every time you put out a paper, the guy you pissed off at last year’s Houston conference is gonna be laying in wait. Every time you think you’ve made a breakthrough, that asshole supervisor who told you you needed more data will be standing ready to shoot it down. . .
    This is how it works: you put your model out there in the coliseum, and a bunch of guys in white coats kick the shit out of it. If it’s still alive when the dust clears, your brainchild receives conditional acceptance. It does not get rejected. This time. . . .
    Science is so powerful that it drags us kicking and screaming towards the truth despite our best efforts to avoid it. And it does that at least partly fueled by our pettiness and our rivalries. . .
    Keep that in mind the next time some blogger decries the ill manners of a bunch of climate scientists under continual siege by forces with vastly deeper pockets and much louder megaphones.‎

    Quoting Aldo Leopold:

    ““One of the penalties of an ecological education is that one lives alone in a world of wounds. Much of the damage inflicted on land is quite invisible to laymen. An ecologist must either harden his shell and make believe that the consequences of science are none of his business, or he must be the doctor who sees the marks of death in a community that believes itself well and does not want to be told otherwise.”
    ― Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac

  10. 10 Hank Roberts March 29, 2016 at 10:24 am

    I wonder if, after a few years and many reports of people being harassed, beaten, tasered, and killed by various uniformed peace officers, you have any more sympathy with Peter Watts — since you already agreed his report is credible, do you have any clearer notion of just how goddamn fucking compliant and meek a person has to be to avoid “resisting arrest” these days?

    Here — look at the video — and the followups:

  11. 11 Hank Roberts September 9, 2016 at 11:21 am

    Perhaps adding “Useful” to the thread subject line would be appropriate.
    Your point is that we need people willing to be jerks, given authority’s tendency to get worse over time if not confronted.

    I could add more to that mail carrier link, but why bother?

    Oh, right. To give authority the impulse required to change position:

    “… In the UK jolt has sometimes been used instead of jerk and may be equally acceptable.

    Many other terms have appeared in individual cases for the third derivative, including pulse, impulse, bounce, surge, shock and super acceleration….”

  12. 12 Kane December 27, 2016 at 8:37 am

    I think Watt’s is somewhat oblong and abrasive, but then he’s a phenomenal science fiction writer. How are you meant to take something as objectively mundane as swearing (it’s just minute vibrations of the air), when you’ve spent the last week mulling over hypothetical events of dizzying magnitude, like how reality is a lie, or first contact with unavoidably hostile aliens. I’m not saying Watt’s is a prodigy, although I love his work and personally think he’s a genius, but the mind-set he has which allows his to write in such a stylised and excellent way is sure to impact his personal opinions and views. If he wasn’t a “jerk”, and acted a lot more like the rest of us, he wouldn’t be Peter Watts. And he wouldn’t have written some of the best fiction I’ve had the grace to read.

  13. 13 Bryan Atinsky November 14, 2017 at 11:46 am

    I and my girlfriend were harassed, threatened and held for hours by the American border agents on our way back in from Canada, and we were being as nice and conciliatory as possible. I am an American who was a Middle East journalist for many years and never once at any border in Europe or the Mid East did I feel as threatened as with the American idiot border guards. With most border guards, you just act nice and friendly and do what they need and it goes smooth. With the US guards, it seems if you act friendly, it gets them mad, they don’t want that….they want servility and subservience and a little bit of fear. In general, I get much more afraid when an American police officer is around than almost any other country I have been to or lived in….being friendly is threatening to them it seems.

  14. 14 Michael A. Charles November 14, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    I’ve certainly heard far more complaints about rude treatment by American border officials than by, say, Canadian border officials. Hard to say if this reflects different behaviours.

    America is nine times as populous as Canada, and gets four times as many international visitors; therefore the number of interactions at American entry points is much greater than at Canadian ones. In a larger number of interactions you’d expect a larger number of interactions-gone-wrong; and since people who’ve been mistreated are much likelier to yell about it than people who’ve been treated well, it follows that we’ll hear more horror stories about the American border than the Canadian border, even if overall treatment is identical.

    What’s more, I suspect many foreign visitors – and some Americans – approach the border **expecting** overbearing small-town-southern-sheriff-style harassment by U.S. officials, so they’re sensitive to petty abuses when they occur. No equivalent stereotype exists for Canadian officials, so they get a pass.

    On the other hand…I’ve been driving for twenty years, have done upwards of ninety percent of my driving in Canada, and have been pulled over by police exactly four times in my life – three of them while driving in the United States. It could be chance; could be somehow I drive more irresponsibly south of the border; but I suspect American highway cops really are on the lookout for trivial offenses in a way Canadian cops aren’t. Same may be true of U.S. border officials.


  15. 15 Hank Roberts November 14, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    Typical bully trick is to try to provoke outrage so as to be able to stomp on it.

    I’ll never forget driving back into the US from Vancouver with a group of friends, all of us young longhairs in the early 1970s. After emptying everything out of the car, luggage and trunk and finding nothing, Mr. Ugly opened the glove box, snatched up a Bayer Aspirin tin waving it around to his peers. Then he opened it and, quite dramatically, picked out one aspirin, licked it …. frowned, shook his head, and put that aspirin back in the tin and closed the tin and put the tin back in the glove box. And said pack up, you can go.

    Our driver dumped the entire tin of aspirin on the pavement at the border station before we got back on the highway.

  16. 16 Teddy February 15, 2018 at 3:12 am

    Honestly I’ve never bothered to look into Peter watts as a person and I gotta say that what you said about him makes me like him MORE. He knows what he wants to say and is gonna say it no matter what anyone else thinks. We need more people like that. We wouldn’t have to deal with dumb fucks nearly as much if people weren’t so often restricting their behaviour.

  17. 17 Harry March 7, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    Wow, you sound like a whiny little twat.

  18. 18 Hank Roberts April 25, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    I’m just grateful the jerks at the border station didn’t shoot him.
    Those were better times than these today.

  19. 19 deutrino February 22, 2019 at 10:01 am

    Was there … a point, to writing this? I’m sorry, but it just comes across as holier-than-thou tone policing from the worst type of nerd – one who is also a square and never colors outside the lines. Maybe would have been better if kept to yourself.

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Michael A. Charles is a writer, animator, and musician currently living in the Vancouver area. He used to be the singer and guitarist for the band known as Sea Water Bliss.

You can find a selection of his cartoons, music videos, and ads on the Gallery page.

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